Was Blind but now I see

Blindfolded womanFor a lifetime I have ignored the things that were evident to me, and paid attention to the things that only distracted me from my purpose. However, as we change, better yet, as God changes us, we begin to see what is truly there. At first it was subtle; I would ask God for guidance and something small and hard to see would appear and I would miss it because I was focused on the larger, but less insignificant things. I use to believe that God blessed me with the ability to read people immediately and quickly determine that person was not part of my journey. To that end, I discredited their presence and moved forward. Then I realized that I would meet this person later on and do the same; discredit their presence. Whether it was because I decided that they could not be trusted, or their presence was just toxic in some way, shape, or form. I distanced myself and cut that person off. I finally was forced to ask myself “why?” did this person keep reappearing. It was not always the same person; sometimes it would be a different person but they possessed the same characteristics as the previous, and sometimes it was simply the same feeling I would experience with someone different that yielded the same response. Yet in still, I handled the situation and the person the same way. You see, life, and my past taught me that the best way to protect myself from any damage was to detect and detach. If I detected something or someone that raised my suspicion, I immediately detached myself from present and future interaction. This, in my mind, kept me from trusting them and later being hurt by them. However, I finally understand why the presence of these things and people keep replaying in my life. My lesson from God was not to detect, distrust, and detach. However, to trust Him. You see? If I trust God and he places someone or something in my path, it is to fulfill His will for me and often for the other person or situation. What this means is that for me, every lesson and/or blessing does not come in the form of a beautifully wrapped gift that emits nice and wonderful feelings. Sometimes the truth; the lesson and/or blessing will cause pain and discomfort. Thus, when I detect something or someone that makes me uncomfortable, I must learn how to welcome them. The detection is my discernment that God blessed me with. It is His introduction or preface to my journey and his purpose for me. If I never read the introduction/preface than I will never know what is to come, good or bad. So I am not truly trusting God. Alternatively, If I read the introduction/preface or simply take the time to understand the person or thing then I can better understand the purpose behind their presence. In doing so, I can fully trust that even if their purpose is pain, that God has an end plan for me. I must accept the pain to reach the gain. I must blindly accept the presence of something or someone that introduces discomfort or change into my life in order to finally see. The end game is to see through God’s eyes, to know that the world is sinful and still greet it daily with love.  To understand that people are not perfect, but God’s will is. With God’s Grace, I am saved, with his wisdom, I am empowered, and with his vision, I see 20/20.

In My World- A poem

In my world,  there would be a place for me to always be free. 

In my world,  there would be a place to escape my frustration easily. 

In my world,  a woman could be who God designed her to be.  

In my world,  my faith would be as vast as the deep blue sea. 

In my world,  hope of a young girl would grow like branches on a tree. 

In my world,  a black man can be all he was meant to be without fear of brutality.  

In my world,  sisters and brothers are bound by loyalty.  

In my world,  we love one another fiercely. 

In my world,  a respected trait is honesty.

But in my world of creativity,  the words cruelty and envy there could never be.  BUT,  that my friends,  wouldn’t be REALITY… 

Taneshia Brown 

If I left the world today

If I left the world today I would want to share the last threads of my fibers with you.  Praying that they resonate with at least one or two.  We often give up the opportunity to speak our minds because of how it might affect others but if we were leaving this earth today,  would it even matter?  Well,  just in case,  here are my sentiments: Learn to love as God has directed us to,  anytime I chose to love or even live contrary to his word,  it never worked out.  Stop fooling yourselves,  no one is perfect, but that does not remove the need to strive for perfection.  Our imperfections should drive us to do better,  not serve as a crutch for complacency.  Acceptance – it is the gateway for rebuilding.  You can not rebuild or even correct something that you refuse to admit is broken.  We fear rejection and when we admit our faults the fear that we will be rejected based on those faults are overwhelming, but please understand that anyone who truly loves you and was sent to you by God is there to rebuild with you,  not reject you.  So accept their exit or absence as God’s removal from your life and NOT their rejection of you. 

Spend some time truly learning about sacrifice. Some of us pretend to have sacrificed but have no clue what it is.  To me, sacrifice is giving up something or someone that takes us beyond the extent of comfort. To be perfectly clear,  when I mention sacrifice,  it is a conversation that comes directly from first hand giving up my last morsel of food, not for one meal,  but for days at a time, until my body succumbed to the effects of starvation.  It was then and only then,  when my head was hurting,  my mouth was dry,  my stomach and body were cramping,  and I lacked the strength to stand, did I know what real sacrifice meant. Not every situation in life will require that level of sacrifice and that is ok,  but let’s call that what it is – simply doing what must be done. 

Be true to what is right.  Do not  confuse love or loyalty with doing the right thing.  You can love yourself,  your partner and anyone you enter into a relationship, but doing the wrong thing in the name of love is wrong,  and,  in my opinion,  not love at all. Similarly,  do not settle or accept less than the right thing from your loved ones.  I have been fooled in the past about this one.  You can love someone despite their flaws but if you love them you will not leave them to their sinfully syndicated flaws.  Pray for them,  forgive them,  and help them overcome.

I have lived a life in the sum of 40 years but often because I chose to ignore God’s messages the days of misery passed like 40 years a piece.  I have no more time for excuses,  I have no more time for avoidance,  I have no more time for selfish sin,  I have no more time for complacency,  I have no more time to surrender to failure,  I simply have no more time for I leave this earth today…

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THE FIRE INSIDE- A poem

She is fragile, but her fight runs deep, so deep she doesnt know when it’s saving her or hurting her.  An inner strength so fiery it must hurt her in order to save her. She fights everyday but Mediocrity and strife are very persistent, will she remain consistent or give in to life.  A fire burns inside of her,  the flame is seen thru her eyes yet they still yurn to touch her.  She sees the fear,  the judgment in their eyes when they stare,  when will they notice it’s a plea for help-like a safety flare.  Sadly they ignore it and their encounter ends with a glare. Her strength is viewed as anger,  her faith as madness, and her fear as sadness. But she keeps moving,  for God has given her another day and his word is assurance that all will be okay and through his grace she will find a way… 

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